Love, Kay

Dear Monkey on my back, The urban dictionary defines “mom guilt” as “guilt a mother feels anytime she takes time to do something for herself, outside of work, that does not involve her children” Hahahahahahahahaha!! This was either A: written by a man (sorry guys) or B: a bloody comedian, because this is just the tip of guilt iceberg! Mummy guilt has become the “monkey on my back”, a constant in my life since the day my son was born 7 years ago. Then it was guilt about breast feeding (have I done it for too long? Should I have done it for longer?) Did I introduce the “right” foods at the right time? At every baby  class I worried why my child wasn’t rolling over yet? Sitting unaided? Crawling? Walking? I feel bad for not talking him to baby massage class! Would sign language classes developed his brain into that of a future genius? I never opened that baby Einstein DVD, will he be the thick kid in class now?! Was I wrong to let him eat that worm in the garden just to p...

Last night I was rummaging through my make up bag when I realised that my favourite concealer (and the only one that I think covers my Mexican moustached fighter melasma) was finished!!! Noooooo!! This could mean only one thing, I have to go make up shopping. For many women, the concept of spending hours looking at the make up counters of their local department store & trying new make up, would bring great joy. For me, not so much. I am terrified of make up counters and more specifically, the staff that work behind them. I actually googled my phobia and it has a name.. "Fucuphobia". Now I'm guessing this is a very tongue in cheek term but I like it and I'm gonna use it!!  I am well aware my Fucuphobia sounds ridiculous but nothing makes me cringe more than standing in front of a stunningly made up beauty asking for help on how to make me look and feel less like an old shoe.  As I approach, I can tell they are judging, as I look through the products...

Do you ever have one of the mornings where all you do is play referee to your kids?? They bicker like bloody cat and dog and you get to the point where you know that if they don't stop within the next 3.5 seconds, the crazy bitch inside (the one you are surpressing) is going to escape and you're going to go insane on their asses!! I try so hard to maintain my Mary Poppins exterior and breathe and remain calm but sometimes, these genius manipulators push my buttons and Cruella Devil comes out to play!! It is 7.08am and we are almost at school. Let me fill you in with current debates that have occurred: 1: It's picture day at school today and my daughter has pulled her hair out of the ponytail I have done it in 4 times... in most of her daily school pics she looks like a cross between Moglie from The Jungle Book and a bad Donald Trump impersonator! She has the most gorgeous face and when her hair is up, her eyes sparkle and just trying to capture this for one scho...

I truly feel like my little girl got a glimpse of how beautiful female friendships can be, this past Sunday. Some of my wonderful friends in Bangkok, decided to throw me a surprise baby shower. This is no easy task when you are organising a surprise event with a mixture of women whom have multiple mummy obligations, visitors staying from around the world, work trips, possible hangovers and all for a woman who has just come off surprise bed rest.. I'm sure they were concerned that perhaps the surprise could result in a surprise gush of water hence the reason my legs are crossed in most of the pictures!  Walking into the room to see all those smiley faces and to see all the effort they had put in to make the afternoon special was just amazing. I am known to be a crier and when you add a ridiculous amount of hormones and the relief from being off bedrest; ugly tears begin. When I first moved here, I told my husband that I wasn't here to make friends; I have lovely friends ...

Bed & rest, probably two of the best things to do on a lazy Sunday; they're almost as good as Netflix and chill.  Perfect combination and once you add in some ice cream and snacks, I'm in heaven.  Or so I thought! My pregnancy decided to step up a gear and go from annoying and uncomfortable to painful and worrying. Whilst watching my son's gymnastics, my contractions started... holy shit bags, who knew watching forward tumbles could have such an effect on my uterus!  We rush to the hospital and yep contractions have started, baby isn't coming but if I'm not put on meds and start bedrest asap, she will be. And here I am... bedrest for a week until my next hospital check up. I know my body, & my baby, need me to rest but this is gonna be torture!  I hate sitting still, I hate staying at home and watching the clock until school pick up and I know that'll be on the agenda when baby arrives but for now I would much prefer to be making random trips...

Well if it's good enough for Kate Middleton & Jessica Alba, then it's good enough for me! Roll on baby number 3!  Since we announced our third pregnancy, I have been stunned by how ridiculously different all 3 of my pregnancies have been.  Reflecting on them today has been so therapeutic for me; it is funny how society has very different views upon pregnancy, depending on how many other children you have. As Jacob was our first, this pregnancy was met with much celebration from others and not much information or guidance; with Sienna, she was our second so everyone assumed we knew what we were doing and were eager to share their own horror labour stories and empathise with the lack of sleep to come but she was our first girl; she was viewed as the missing piece to our family puzzle and with our third... well this has been amusing!  2010 He was our first & we were the first people ever to have a newborn! I read all the books, I ensured to wash all of h...

"Girls are mean!" How many of us were told this when we were growing up? I know I was. This topic is one that is really close to me, as a mum of a young girl & another on the way and someone who was bullied as well as, and I'm ashamed to admit, a bully. I was never physical and I never went out of my way to be mean to anyone; but when my group of friends (especially the "Queen Bee"... every group has one) decided not to talk to someone, i joined in. I didn't do this as I had a personal grudge against that person, and majority of the time I didn't know why that person was being ignored or ostracised, I was just relieved it wasn't me. Writing this now I am so ashamed of my actions and I would love to go back to myself then and give myself a bitch slap and remind me that I am an individual and can like and talk to whoever the hell I wish, but I was weak. (If I'm being completely honest, I would also go back and tell myself that I ain...