Pregnancy Sucks!

I am delighted that in 9 weeks we will be welcoming our new baby girl into the world. I am delighted that we are going to have a gorgeous bundle filling our days will even more love, laughter, sleepless nights & explosive nappies. And I am so delighted that in 9 weeks, I won't be pregnant anymore!! Pregnancy sucks!!

Even as I write this I know some of you will be enraged by this. Don't get me wrong, I know how fortunate I am that I have been able to carry 3 babies, fall pregnant without any stress or at any financial expense and I am well aware that I am supposed to be embracing this wonderful chapter of my womanhood.. but I don't.

I adore knowing there is a new life growing inside me & feeling that the growing a baby in my body is the most incredible thing ever; But I have hated being pregnant.

I find that complaining about pregnancy is a complete faux pas, how dare i complain! Does this make me a terrible woman? A terrible mother? A complete selfish bitch?! Maybe but I do not apologise for feeling this way. I feel I have to be honest and share my experience because it's this whole bloody mummy guilt kicking in again and it's before the baby is even born!

Let's break down this gorgeous experience: 

I felt hungover for 15 weeks; every day from the moment I woke until the moment I fell asleep was hell. I was nauseated by every smell, every sight of food and even the thought of anything edible made me gag. Living in Bangkok is a wonderful treat for the senses, unless you're pregnant! My heightened sense of smell ensured that I could smell everything; every blocked drain, every street vendor's fishy concoction, overbearing perfume, everything...I could smell EVERYTHING!!! 

Having to shower 3 times a day as I am  sweating so much that my bra cups "runneth over" and any glow I have is  actually sweat and excess oil seeping from my already clogged pores; pores that now housed my newfound acne. (And whilst we are discussing the bra issue, let's have a wee chat about the milk makers themselves!! I now look in the mirror and the funbags have exploded and I now see something that wouldn't look out of place in an article on Amazonian tribeswomen in National Geographic!)

I love my pregnancy belly and couldn't wait for it to become a proper bump so weight gain was never an issue. But when the weight gain is specifically in one leg and i end up with one cankle which has resulted in me occasionally walking in circles, is not cool!

Let's talk about hair! With Sienna, my hair grew quickly and was in the best condition ever... with this pregnancy I am experiencing the same, but not on my head!! My stomach could easily be mistaken for that of a truck driver.. wtf?!  Really not the Herbal Essence picture perfect hair I had hoped for. 

(Usually I would post lots of pics to illustrate these but let's be honest, no one needs to see that!?)

 Apparently, if you believe old wives tales, our unborn child is incredibly hairy! I have indigestion after every meal and now have a loving attachment to my box of Tums antacids. So not only do I have the stomach of a mummy gorilla, I may be away to birth a gremlin!

A gremlin, is quite a nice visual for this gorgeous baby. During the day, she tends to
occasionally tumble around and give me the odd tap or two , reassuring me that she is growing strong and is happy. Unlike the movie, "Gremlins",  my Gizmo turns into Stripe as soon as I eat, drink, sit, lie down or relax in any way! This monster is determined to prove that she is in charge and calls the shots; especially when she uses my bladder as her own personal trampoline, plays my ribcage like a xylophone and threatens to karate chop her way out through my poor beat up cervix.

Did I also mention:

* Having to pee ten times a night

* Being judged whenever you eat something that may have been deemed "unhealthy" and or the looks and comments if you eat something that may have been on a "don't eat" list for pregnant women in 1983 and let's not even start on the judgements if you have a small glass of wine on your monthly date night.

* Crying at everything from YouTube videos of cats to someone commenting that you smell nice!

* Wanting to pick up your other children and swing them around but being physically unable up (gotta love the mummy guilt)

* Wanting to run around with your other children but being unable to walk 30 steps without having to request an inhaler, perhaps an oxygen tank, a drink of water and somewhere comfortable to sit at the end (ahhhh hello again mummy guilt!)

* Having to judge if it's worthwhile to bend over and pick something up as it requires so much effort and an obscene amount of noise! Seriously, I grunt and moan like an extra from a bad zombie movie.

* "The mask of pregnancy". Another gorgeous gift bestowed upon me from mother nature. The increase in hormones can darken certain areas of your face and for me this has been on my upper lip and under both eyes so every morning I look like a Mexican moustached boxer! Thank you hormones!

* Fallen arches... your dainty size 5 feet are now a 7 and none of your shoes fit anymore. Even though I rarely wore any of the high heeled shoes in my closet, I liked knowing that I could if I wanted to; now squashing my elephantitis slabs of meat into these dainty beauties is a scene reminiscent of the ugly sisters trying on Cinderella's glass slipper.

I wish I could say that my pregnancy has been a dream and I have loved the feminine glow and loved nothing more than hugging my toilet bowl, walking like I have shit my pants, living in fear of sneezing or laughing too hard just in case I pee myself and having not seen Virginia in almost a month; but I can't! My third pregnancy has been awful and I plan to remind my baby girl of this for at least the next 30 years at every family get together; oh yes, I will be that mum! 

I will love Gizmo (this is what I plan to call her until she is born) unconditionally and it's bizarre as I know the second she arrives, I will forget all of this and it is all totally worth it but it's kinda like a good Thai massage... makes you wanna cry, makes you question what the hell you're doing, makes you miserable and is unimaginably painful but afterwards you feel like a new woman & I'll be a new woman with a tiny baby to share a lifetime of memories with. 

But for the next 9 weeks.. pregnancy sucks!
Wishing you a lovely week,
Love Kay (& Gizmo) xx