Toxic

Every morning I wake up and grab for my phone; I check my messages, emails and then check in with the world of Facebook. This morning I read an amazing blog entry from two wonderful ladies I met in Texas. These ladies and their blog are the reason I went to the hospital to have a colonoscopy at the age of 33 & these ladies are the reason I found out that I had the colon of a 69 year old and if I didn’t sort myself out, I would eventually develop colon cancer. 

Blogs are a fantastic avenue in which we can vent and share and sometimes, a blog can change your mood, perspective or perhaps even your life. (Thank you again, ladies!)

In their blog today, they wrote about friendships and the kind of friends that “fan our flames”, friends that uplift us and inspire us to be better people. This really made me think..

Again, I’m going to refer back to the latest shooting in the US. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a teacher, because I have kids in school, have a newborn or I’m just super hormonal but this particular incident has really got to me. I watch the news and my heart breaks, I just can’t believe we live in a world where children are in danger and where bulletproof backpacks are selling out in the stores and door wedges are being popped into kids bags so they have a way of jamming a cupboard door so a shooter can’t enter!?!

Life is short and every moment is precious. Every day when we wake up and kiss our kids good morning and grab our husband’s butt just to remind him that in amongst the madness of 3 kids, We still fancy him like crazy.   So in a life which is short and where we need to start embracing moments and making memories, why do we allow toxic people in??  

In the dictionary “toxic” is defined as “causing unpleasant feelings; harmful or malicious”. How many of us have one or perhaps numerous people in our lives that we could categorise as toxic?

It could be a family member  that constantly lifts themselves up by belittling others, the friend whose constant negativity and drama drags you down or the person who just drains you; that person that seeps the energy from you but never gives back. 

We all have someone, I can guarantee that right now you are thinking of that person or persons. 

So what do we do?! I am hard enough on myself, I don’t need external parties making me feel shitty about myself or question my parenting, clothes choices or even life choices. Trust me, I do it daily!

I follow the Skelly Twins advice! I look for those people that I have a connection with, people that are easy to be with, make me smile, make life that little bit more interesting and enjoyable, people that remind us why relationships are so important and those that just make life better.

Look around you, who lifts you up without putting others down? Who makes you feel good about yourself? Whose relationship is easy and fair? 

I am in no way suggesting that you have a massive friendship cull and you only keep friends that make you happy all the time; we all have rubbish days and lean on our friends and family and at times, the closest ones to us are the ones we get most frustrated with and let’s be honest, no one is happy all the time!

Having a friend or friends who will bitch slap you if needs be or challenge you when you are talking crazy is essential! If these people have your back and challenge you out of love and from a place of respect, their keepers! 

But when you think of people in your life and perhaps a few could be deemed “toxic”; maybe it’s time to reevaluate the time spent with the ones that make life good and perhaps take a step back from those that don’t. 

Don’t be cruel, phase these people out gently and without intentionally hurting anyone but remember, in the long run, you are being kind to yourself.  Step back from those that pee on your flame... keep the igniters; the ones that will lift your spirit, make you laugh, be there for you, make you feel comfortable, treat you and your friendship with respect and will always be prepared to slap some much needed sense into you. 

Wishing you all a great week ahead & if you need a bitch slap, I’m always available!

Love, 

Kay x

(http://theskellytwins.com/stories. I can’t recommend this blog enough. These women are uplifting and have more energy than anyone I’ve ever met; they really are inspirational).