You're pregnant again? Are you mental?

Well if it's good enough for Kate Middleton & Jessica Alba, then it's good enough for me! Roll on baby number 3!  Since we announced our third pregnancy, I have been stunned by how ridiculously different all 3 of my pregnancies have been.  Reflecting on them today has been so therapeutic for me; it is funny how society has very different views upon pregnancy, depending on how many other children you have. As Jacob was our first, this pregnancy was met with much celebration from others and not much information or guidance; with Sienna, she was our second so everyone assumed we knew what we were doing and were eager to share their own horror labour stories and empathise with the lack of sleep to come but she was our first girl; she was viewed as the missing piece to our family puzzle and with our third... well this has been amusing! 

2010

He was our first & we were the first people ever to have a newborn! I read all the books, I ensured to wash all of his gorgeous clothes in the most eco friendly, softest, and sensitive washing powder I could, the nursery was decorated beautifully and each day I counted down to our due date.

Jacob's delivery was horrific and loooooong and loooooong and horrific! We were home within 6 hours and I truly believe this was the start of our problems. I never truly rested and didn't have the chance to stop and embrace the moment as much as I should have. 

Looking back, I wasn't in a good place postpartum; i never admitted it because how could I?! None of our friends had children yet and those that did were all taking to motherhood like pros. I lived in sweatpants , would only shower for 30seconds, ensuring Jacob could see me the whole time from his bouncer ( even though I don't even think babies see that far at such a young age!), my entire life depending on his wants and needs and the idea of leaving the house before noon was a ridiculous concept! 

We didn't get many visitors as I didn't invite anyone over; not because I wasn't desperate for adult company, I was just so lost in my own little world of engorged boobs, feeding around the clock, trying to keep this small person alive and continue to seem like all was well with the world. This is a topic I have never really addressed before and feel I really need to so will in another post but let's zip on to bubba number 2.

2012

Luckily by the time Sienna came along, I had the hang of this mum thing. We were involved in multiple groups and Jacob and I got our asses out of the house every day (I realised this was the key! Staying in means the days drag on; at least in the car or stroller, the kids are distracted!) 

Sienna's labour was so much easier as I knew what was involved and I had this inner cave woman thing going on.. it was this odd primal understanding of what was happening and what I had to do and I got that bubba out in 2 hours. Go cave woman me!! 

From the second she was born, I was being told that we had the perfect family and that we were done. "You have a girl and a boy now, that's you complete!". "You must be so happy that you have one of each as now you can stop!"

Fast forward to 2017 & we're pregnant! Ta da!  We never said we were finished having children but we never said we wanted more either; it was always kind of an open book and a subject never really addressed. 

So when both of my kids started school, I began to have the yearnings to be needed by a small person again. My husband and I discussed it and we contemplated buying a puppy; yes! A puppy! That's exactly what we need!!! He was 60/40 on the puppy situation and my excitement level was rising as was my need to vomit! Suddenly I was craving macaroni cheese pies and anything else made me want to die.. ahhhhh this could mean only one thing!!! Our puppy would be slightly less hairy, walk on 2 legs (eventually) , probably want us to put it through college one day and was going to be around slightly longer than the anticipated 10+ years! We were pregnant!

So let's chat about our third pregnancy and the questions and queries people have had upon our announcement...

(Please let me firstly say that the majority of the things listed below were comments made by people that don't know me very well and I'm sure they were all meant innocently and were  made after  the initial congratulations,. All of these comments were made to me and sharing them with you now makes me giggle. Enjoy!!

Was it an accident??

Yes, I accidentally got naked at the exact same time as my husband, tripped, fumbled and after many attempts to regain my footing, I stood up and walked away pregnant. I find this question so insulting as it makes you feel like you have to explain why you are choosing to bring another human screaming into the world. 

Ok so this baby wasn't exactly planned; diaries weren't consulted and we hadn't discussed "going for it" but it wasn't an "accident" either. This baby is joining our tribe of 4 and I honestly can't wait to see who she becomes and how her arrival changes us all (I know that poor gaz's wallet will get a whole lot lighter and I will inevitably need to dye my greys ALOT more frequently but I mean watching my kids grow in love and show their supportive, nurturing sides for this helpless wee thing is just going to be amazing).

Were you even trying?

Trying for what exactly? Trying to get pregnant or just trying to squeeze in some alone time
 (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) with my hubby away from the kids?  How is that any of your
business? If I notice that perhaps you've put on a stone over the summer do I come over to you

 and ask if it was your intention to get larger? No, because it's rude and none of my bloody business. Also our sex life is our private business, unless something funny happens and then I tend to tell everyone!.

But remember, if my kids ask, this was the third and final time that I have shown daddy that I
love him. Thank you for your co-operation in this!!

Are you mental?

Yes, thank you for noticing.

You are so outnumbered!

What?!?! Oh my goodness?! I had never done the maths!?! 2 adults & 3 kids... how will we be able to protect all 3 from a herd of charging elephants when we can only hold 2!?! We'll just need to pick our favourites; Or we can acknowledge that yes there will now be more children than adults in our house and move on. Although technically I feel there are many instances when our children are the adults in our household so really a third is just a better support system for my husband and I. 

Seriously though, are you mental?

Yes! (Smile and give them the dead eyes. Why do people feel the need to mess with hormonal pregnant chicks?! We're a dangerous breed!)

Did you forget what it's like to have a newborn baby?

Yes and I am delighted to admit it! Denial and ignorance rule!!!

Where will it sleep?

I need to provide it with a bed?!?! This is brand new information!! We have several empty drawers in the house and Amazon are always so generous with their cardboard boxes, I think we'll be fine. 

No more holidays abroad for you!

Why?! Are you taking my passport?! As I have now carried a third child, I am no longer fit to fly?! Are we on a watch list?! Is it because Gaz and I are now outnumbered?!  

I am definitely going abroad!!!  The thought of an entire summer in Bangkok with my kids and a baby are enough to make me rock back and forth in a corner! Most expats leave Bangkok for the summer so no play dates, no coffee with friends and basically no social life for 6 weeks; just the constant blanket of humidity and unbearable heat restricting your outside access... I'll pass thanks! 

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I think this is what threw me the most, people find out and say nothing. I can never tell if they are so delighted that their brain can't quite get the message through to the rest of their bodies to express their sheer delight; or if they so horrified that their body has gone into shock and they can no longer function? Are they pissed off with us for bringing another child into this already over populated, over polluted and politically unstable world when we already have the "perfect" family?? 

Or do they genuinely
just not have a scooby whether to congratulate or commiserate as they are having flashbacks to labour, nappies, sleepless nights, teething, weaning.. (stop!!! Kay, go to your happy place!! Breathe!) 

But seriously, are you mental? 

Yes! We are completely f*cking mental! Thank you for your psychological and psychiatric observations.

Please know that these answers have been compiled with my tongue firmly in my cheek; I am a sarcastic cow and sometimes I need to vent, or moo, whichever fits. 

Baby Ashton number 3 is on her final stretch inside and will emerge any day, her integration into our family and society will be a wonderfully challenging experience filled with sleepless nights, caffeine, sweat pants and much needed social interactions  but she's a tough kid, she'll cope!!
Wishing you a wonderful weekend!!
Love,
Kay x