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Showing posts from October, 2017

The Monkey on My Back (aka Mummy Guilt)

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Dear Monkey on my back, The urban dictionary defines “mom guilt” as “guilt a mother feels anytime she takes time to do something for herself, outside of work, that does not involve her children” Hahahahahahahahaha!! This was either A: written by a man (sorry guys) or B: a bloody comedian, because this is just the tip of guilt iceberg! Mummy guilt has become the “monkey on my back”, a constant in my life since the day my son was born 7 years ago. Then it was guilt about breast feeding (have I done it for too long? Should I have done it for longer?) Did I introduce the “right” foods at the right time? At every baby  class I worried why my child wasn’t rolling over yet? Sitting unaided? Crawling? Walking? I feel bad for not talking him to baby massage class! Would sign language classes developed his brain into that of a future genius? I never opened that baby Einstein DVD, will he be the thick kid in class now?! Was I wrong to let him eat that worm in the garden just to prove

Fucuphobia

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Last night I was rummaging through my make up bag when I realised that my favourite concealer (and the only one that I think covers my Mexican moustached fighter melasma) was finished!!! Noooooo!! This could mean only one thing, I have to go make up shopping. For many women, the concept of spending hours looking at the make up counters of their local department store & trying new make up, would bring great joy. For me, not so much. I am terrified of make up counters and more specifically, the staff that work behind them. I actually googled my phobia and it has a name.. "Fucuphobia". Now I'm guessing this is a very tongue in cheek term but I like it and I'm gonna use it!!  I am well aware my Fucuphobia sounds ridiculous but nothing makes me cringe more than standing in front of a stunningly made up beauty asking for help on how to make me look and feel less like an old shoe.  As I approach, I can tell they are judging, as I look through the products

Good morning, Cruella!

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Do you ever have one of the mornings where all you do is play referee to your kids?? They bicker like bloody cat and dog and you get to the point where you know that if they don't stop within the next 3.5 seconds, the crazy bitch inside (the one you are surpressing) is going to escape and you're going to go insane on their asses!! I try so hard to maintain my Mary Poppins exterior and breathe and remain calm but sometimes, these genius manipulators push my buttons and Cruella Devil comes out to play!! It is 7.08am and we are almost at school. Let me fill you in with current debates that have occurred: 1: It's picture day at school today and my daughter has pulled her hair out of the ponytail I have done it in 4 times... in most of her daily school pics she looks like a cross between Moglie from The Jungle Book and a bad Donald Trump impersonator! She has the most gorgeous face and when her hair is up, her eyes sparkle and just trying to capture this for one scho

To my tribe...

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I truly feel like my little girl got a glimpse of how beautiful female friendships can be, this past Sunday. Some of my wonderful friends in Bangkok, decided to throw me a surprise baby shower. This is no easy task when you are organising a surprise event with a mixture of women whom have multiple mummy obligations, visitors staying from around the world, work trips, possible hangovers and all for a woman who has just come off surprise bed rest.. I'm sure they were concerned that perhaps the surprise could result in a surprise gush of water hence the reason my legs are crossed in most of the pictures!  Walking into the room to see all those smiley faces and to see all the effort they had put in to make the afternoon special was just amazing. I am known to be a crier and when you add a ridiculous amount of hormones and the relief from being off bedrest; ugly tears begin. When I first moved here, I told my husband that I wasn't here to make friends; I have lovely friends