No more toys!
Now, please please please please don’t think I’m being ungrateful or just a real grumpy bitch, they have been given some very thoughtful things in the past and I appreciate that people see things and love to buy them for our kids... but the time has come to say it loud and say it proud.. our kids need no more toys!
When we had our first child, we bought him all the baby sensory toys we could find and everywhere we went we would buy something to commemorate our trip; a small memento to remind us of that moment in time when he experienced something for the first time & we did as parents.
Then we had our daughter and ofcourse she needed all the pink toys we could get our hands on as well as every Disney princess knickknack from the tea sets to the transvestite looking Belle Barbie.
It wasn’t until we started packing up our kids toyroom in Scotland that we realised they had ALOT of toys & by ALOT, I mean ALOT!! Over 20 boxes of toys were shipped to our new home in Houston. Shocking!
We decided then that for birthdays and Christmases, we would buy our children something small, a token for them to open and we would do something with them. Things such as Some kind of experience together, an opportunity to create memories and take pictures to look back on and enjoy. (Photographs and memories are light and so much easier to transport half way across the bloody world).
But ofcourse we ignored our own words and birthdays came and went and we spoiled our children with bundles of gifts and kicked ourselves the next day when we were trying to find a place for the newest addition to hoarder’s paradise!
(Disclaimer: This is not our Christmas tree...ours has been close to this but not quite this bad!)
Our kids go through toy fads like our newborn goes through nappies! They will be obsessed by My Little Ponies on Monday and by Sunday, their lives revolve around the Avengers. This makes planning for Xmas in advance a bitch as they tend to change their lists several times as their “must haves” have changed too.
I get so upset with our kids as they seem so bloody ungrateful as they rip open one present and then dash to the next; no time being spent on any particular gift, savouring it’s thoughtfulness that went behind it’s purchase or it’s general awesomeness. But I have to remind myself that they are not being ungrateful sods, they are excited children.
It’s even more difficult not to scream when they say they are bored and have nothing to play with. That’s when I kindly escort them to their toyrooms and show them the 4.2million toys they own and then quickly depart as they then tell me they have nothing to play with.. breathe Kay, breathe!!
I can clearly remember “special toys” from when I was young. I remember playing for hours with my barbie house (aka The Sindy Slum) and my brother playing with his Millenium Falcon. Now I’m pretty sure I’m not looking back with rose tinted glasses but our kids don’t have this, they don’t have a special soft toy they can’t stand to be apart from or a toy that brings them endless joy. Is this because they have too much or is it just a reflection of the times we live in?? (Yes I am very aware that this makes me sound so old!!)
So what’s the solution?! You don’t want to neglect your kids and give them a crappy childhood by not allowing them the joy of new toys and you don’t want to come across as a complete cow by asking people to stop buying them toys... But we need to find different ways to spoil them, more inventive and creative ways to show them we care. This is where we return to experiences!! Take them to the circus or the zoo, spend a day with them exploring the city, maybe get dressed up and indulge in a fancy high tea, watch a football match together or go an get your nails painted.
And if you can’t be together due to living in different cities or countries or perhaps due to restraining orders or for whatever reason, buy a gift that they can use like tickets to a play or pay for their guitar lessons or make a donation in their name. I am well aware that my 5 year old won’t appreciate a goat bought in her name for people in Africa as much as she would a new Barbie, but this may help to teach her about the World we live in and that we are so fortunate and it’s our responsibility to share and bring happiness to others with small gestures. (Again I am laughing as I know my daughter and if someone was to donate a goat in her name or “adopt” her a killer whale, she’d have an amazing argument as to why she should really get to have it and keep it as a pet!)
I get that this may seem unfair, controversial or that I’m expecting my kids to give something up but I have taught kids with nothing, seen children in orphanages who cling to a filthy bear for comfort and can’t help but feel guilt as my kids have a toyroom overflowing with a crazy amount of McDonalds happy meal crap, unloved toys with missing bits and toys they just don’t care for.
So from now on, we plan to show our kids we care by spending quality time with them, making memories & taking pictures. I know there will be times when I slip and buy them a stuffed toy that I believe, in my naive delusion, will be the one thing they need more than anything and they will pass it on to their babies one day or I’ll take them to McDonald’s so they can get the toy they “need” but I’m ok with that; I’m only human.. but when I tell you about it, feel free to slap me!
Have a great week,
Love,
Kay
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